Operation Not Have An Anxiety Attack Because You Have To Give Your Weight To The Ski Rental Employee: Day Nine

I can't believe it's already Day 9! This is probably the longest I have gone without chocolate in my entire life.

But want to know something cool about not eating chocolate and sticking to a diet that everyone and their mother knows about? Besides the obvious health benefits, you also become the most popular girl in your office! I used to be popular when I was single because dating stories are crowd pleasers, but ever since I've been in a solid relationship my entertainment stock has plummeted. Not anymore though - thanks to Whole30 I'm back on the map! I am literally the topic of conversation everywhere I turn, and if you just give me a few more days I bet I can get a rumor or two started about me.

I also heard she eats bacon every day.

Seriously, after the news of my 6 lb weight loss made it's way to Julie the office gossip, people all of a sudden started stopping me as I walked down the hall to congratulate me, shouting "Hey Skinny!" every time they saw me, and just generally making me the Homecoming Queen of the cubicles. It has been f-ing awesome.

Replace those dudes with women aged 30-60 and
that's pretty much my workday. 

But if I have learned anything over the years, it's that this kind of Office Fame is finite, and cannot live on forever. So I am going to enjoy this as much as I can for now, until I get actually skinny and all those bitches turn on me.

Until then, here's what I ate!

Breakfast:

Guess :)

Deliciousness:

Bacon and eggs you sexy duo, you.

Lunch:

Leftover Polpette alla Fiorentina.
Deliciousness:

Snack:
I had my first real snack on Whole30! The program frowns upon snacking so I tried to avoid it, but yesterday there were so many cookies and cakes and bagels and brownies around my work (for real, I didn't make any of that up, that's what I'm dealing with here every day) that I needed to kill my 3pm hunger with something better than tea. So I went to the convenient store downstairs and got a bag of raisins and cashews. The sweetness of the raisins definitely helped to hold me over and stop my hand from involuntarily grabbing a cookie and shoving it into my mouth, so I'd say it was a success.

Deliciousness:

I mean... it's raisins and cashews. How delicious could it really be.

Dinner:

Soy Glazed Roast Chicken (with coconut aminos for soy sauce, and I left out the brown sugar)

Cauliflower Mash

Roasted Broccoli

Deliciousness:

The cauliflower and roasted broccoli were perfect, but the chicken was not my favorite. It had potential and I would try it again, but with some major tweaks. First of all, either marinading the chicken for a couple hours and/or making the sauce significantly thicker would help. As the recipe had it, the sauce was too thin to really influence the taste as much as I would have liked. Also, I would use only one shallot and more garlic, with some green onions added, and maybe some crushed red pepper too. Basically this recipe needs a complete update. So...

I promise to try this again within the next 20 days and will see if my newfound cooking skills can help liven this chicken up! Probably not, but lets find out the hard way.

Well that's it for today! Thanks for reading and make sure to check in tomorrow for the Day 10 update!

Operation Say Goodbye To My Double Chin: Days Seven & Eight

Hi Friends!

Sorry for another double post - yesterday was a snow day and I took full advantage of the excuse to be lazy. Between catching up on my favorite Bravo series and a Fixer Upper marathon, I just couldn't find the time to sit down and write a blog post. You understand.

But now I'm back! And I haven't forgotten that I promised to update how much weight we lost. I am so excited to report that as of Monday, which was 6 days on Whole30, I lost...

6 and a half pounds!!!  Thats ever so slightly more than a pound a day, which is even better than I hoped for. And of course Chris lost 12 which is insane and proves once again that it's f*cking great to be a man. However, to be fair, Chris had been doing something I hadn't that first week, which brings me to a topic I hate but must be discussed...

Working out.

Everyone that knows me well knows that I. HATE. EXERCISING. I have never enjoyed it, and most likely never will. My body doesn't produce these "endorphins" you all love to talk about it, which by the way I'm fairly certain don't really exist and have been fabricated by the billion dollar treadmill industry. I also have very poor hand-eye coordination and suck at pretty much everything involving movement, so risk of injury and/or embarrassment is always at the forefront of my mind.

But, I understand it is a necessary evil and I need to man up if I want to stop that damn jiggle. So, to keep my weight loss momentum going I am now promising myself that I will work out at least 5 days a week. It doesn't have to be anything crazy - if I really don't feel in the mood then just running a mile counts as something, but I still have to actually go. 5 times. Within 7 days. For the rest of Whole30 (and hopefully after). No excuses!

I started on Sunday and it went ok. I used to be an alright runner but haven't ran farther than the distance from my couch to my fridge in about 4 years, so I started small and did some intervals followed by some weights. I went with a friend who claims to experience those "endorphins" to make sure I stayed on her schedule and actually did something worthwhile instead of just walking on the treadmill for 10 minutes and heading to the steam room.

That's actually a pretty solid ab workout in my book.

It felt good after, so I went again on Monday, and even got off my ass for an hour on Tuesday during the snowday to pay Equinox another visit. Therefore, so far so good! I am hoping this will influence my weight loss even more and also that I don't tear a ligament.

Now onto the food!

MONDAY

Breakfast:

3 poached eggs over wilted spinach

Deliciousness:

The poached eggs were perfection but the spinach with it was kind of gross and slimy. I keep trying to add spinach to breakfasts and it keeps not working, so I am letting that damn leaf go back to its original consumer.

Lunch:

Leftover Herb Crusted Roast Beef with a side of
Roasted Cauliflower (just put some cauliflower on a cookie sheet, spray with olive oil, salt and pepper and roast in the oven for about 30 minutes until browned on top.)

Deliciousness:

Yum!! I ended up having to eat the roast beef like an animal with my hands since a plastic knife wasn't cutting it (literally! haha), but other than that it was lovely.

Dinner:

Polpette alla Fiorentina (or as Chris likes to call them, "Meatballs Amazeballs")

Deliciousness:

This is one of my absolute favorite recipes! They take a little while to make but are so worth it - you don't need to serve them with a side, and they have such amazing flavor. Also they only get better with time in the fridge so they make awesome leftovers. I completely forgot to take a picture of the finished product but did take one of the ingredients all together in the mixing bowl, so you can see how much goes into it to create so much more than your average meatball!

TUESDAY

Breakfast:

Leftover Sweet Potato Bacon Patty with 2 poached eggs on top, with a side of fruit.

Deliciousness:

Mmm mmm mmm.

Lunch:

Leftover Polpette alla Fiorentina followed by some Homemade Applesauce.

Deliciousness:

It's making me hungry again just thinking about it now.

Dinner:

Dinner at Marta for Johnny's birthday! I had Lamb chops and Chris had Spareribs.
Deliciousness:
It was really good and so much fun, but definitely put Chris and I to the test when it came to not having a sip of wine, piece of bread, or bite of the birthday cake. Luckily it was such a good group that sitting around drinking water and eating tofu would be the best time ever, but I really can't wait for these 30 days to be over so I can enjoy dinners out again! And by enjoy dinner I mean drink ALL THE WINE.

And that's what I ate! Thanks for reading, I promise to post again tomorrow!

Operation Not Have My Hunter Rainboots Suction-Cup To My Calves: Days Four, Five, and Six

Hi Everyone!!

Ok, first of all, so sorry for not posting over the weekend. My computer at home sucks and won't let me post gif's, which is obviously a necessity.

Second of all:

I said BRR, it's cold out here!!! At first I was really excited for the snowstorm because I always think that I love the snow and it's going to be beautiful and I will be appropriately dressed and become one with nature and look like this:

Expectation.

But then I went to leave this morning and couldn't find my hat and my puffy coat wouldn't zip so I had to wear my lighter one and I forgot my scarf and it was pretty much exactly like this:

Reality.

Basically, this weather is stupid. Unless shivering burns calories? Someone look into that and let me know please - if so I will be out there in a bikini just chillin. Literally. Hehe.

Moving on. So I had my first weekend without any alcohol in probably...12 years? At least. Is that bad? Whatever it is, let's just say it had its ups and downs. Friday night watching tv with a mug of tea even though I could sleep in the next day was definitely a downer, but luckily it was a first season of Homeland marathon, and Brody's torture scenes really put any wine desperation in perspective so I chilled the F out. Plus, waking up on Saturday morning without even a hint of a hangover was glorious. In the past, weekend mornings with nothing to do = might as well be hungover!

But waking up on Saturday fresh as a daisy with a whole day ahead of me was a beautiful thing. I walked the dog, made coffee, made breakfast, cleaned the kitchen, and got a mani/pedi all before noon. Then Chris and I took a stroll to Soho where we enjoyed a lovely booze-free lunch at a cozy restaurant, walked around and did some shopping, then came home to relax and make dinner before going to bed at a reasonable time for a deep 10-hour sleep.

Everything was shining, shimmering, splendid...until Sunday when things got a little harder. With Whole30 every turn is a surprise. Sometimes the cravings and hunger are indescribable feelings. Ok, I will stop that now. But so Sunday we had friends over for lunch and it was awesome. Everyone was so fun, the food turned out great, and I was actually totally fine drinking tea while they had wine, which was unexpected. It wasn't until after they left that Chris and I had simultaneous temper tantrums about being hungry but not wanting anything we could eat. I didn't want meat and he didn't want vegetables so we just stared at each other with hatred for about 20 minutes.

Eventually we both had some applesauce and put down our weapons. Seriously, if you are going to do a Whole30 make the Homemade Slow Cooker Applesauce, it's a life saver when sweet cravings come to town. I honestly felt like I came back to life after a few spoonfuls. But it was a rough night...only made better when we weighed ourselves the next morning and realized it's all worth it. But you have to check in tomorrow to find out how much we lost!!

Until then, here's what I ate!

FRIDAY

Breakfast:

3 scrambled eggs

2 slices crispy bacon

Deliciousness:

If it ain't broke, don't fix it. This breakfast makes me so happy.

Lunch:

Leftover Prosciutto Wrapped Chicken with leftover Brussels Sprouts and Bacon Salad

Deliciousness:

This prosciutto chicken really lasted! It got better every day when the flavors set in so I would highly recommend making at the beginning of the week and using for lunch with some roasted veggies on the side.

Dinner:

Rustic Chicken with Garlic Gravy (I used chicken broth instead of wine, ghee instead of butter, and Tapioca starch for the flour)
Wilted Spinach Salad with Caramelized Shallots

Deliciousness:

This chicken is one of my favorite things I have made so far. That gravy is BOMB. My one suggestion would be to buy garlic already peeled if you can find it, because I couldn't and my hands still smell from that fool's errand. Also, I would have loved to have paired it with mashed cauliflower since seriously, that GRAVY, but when I got home I realized I was out of my bff cauliflower which like, never happens. But I had spinach and shallots so I found a recipe online and it turned out so well that I'll definitely make it again, but I think it would have paired better with something more like a steak. Overall though, it was a total success.

SATURDAY

Breakfast:

Poached egg on a Sweet Potato Bacon Patty with a side of spinach and fruit.

Deliciousness:

Omg, so delicous. And filling!!  I had a ton lefotver since I had planned on having 2 but could only finish one. The sweet potato batter stays in the fridge for a couple days as well, so you can have it for breakfast more than once! Which trust me, once you taste this you will want it like every day.

Lunch:
Food at an actual restaurant, my stars! Chris and I shared the grilled calamari to start, then I had the grilled veal and vegetables and he had a steak salad.

Grilled Calamari

Steak Salad

Grilled Veal

Deliciousness:
Really good! The calamari was amaze-balls - it had some sort of spicy viniagrette on it and I ate my half in T-.2 seconds. The entrees were on point as well - the only bad part was not imbibing. We both  had coffee and water. It was weird. I noticed we were the only people in the entire restauarant without drinks and I felt unnecessarily bad for our waiter, but we left feeling fantastic!

Dinner:

Lettuce Wrap Tacos. The easiest dinner ever - just ground turkey (or beef) with taco seasoning and onions, put in a lettuce leaf with salsa and guacamole. Just be careful with your taco seasoning - I had some from WholeFoods which was fine but a lot of them have a sh*tload of preservatives. If you can't find any that work in your grocery store, just know that Cumin is the ringleader and Paprika, Onion Powder, Garlic Powder, and Salt are its groupies. Just throw them all in with the meat and adjust to taste, and you will probably end up with something better than store-bought.

Deliciousness:
This is a favorite in my house, because it always tastes good. I didn't take a photo though because as hard as I tried there is no way to make lettuce wrap tacos look appetizing to the eye who has never tasted. So just make your own and take my word for it.

 SUNDAY

Breakfast:

3 scrambled eggs

Deliciousness:

I mean, it's fine. But it was definitely missing something.

Lunch:
Herb Crusted Roast Beef
Recipe: I got a 4 lb Roast since I was serving 7 people and also wanted leftovers for lunch on Monday. I put a bunch of salt, pepper, 4 cloves crushed garlic, and chopped thyme and rosemary in a bowl and rubbed it all over the meat, before roasting it for about 2 hours at 350. It came out perfectly.
Mashed Cauliflower
Roasted Brussel Sprouts - just cut them in half, spread on a rimmed baking sheet, and spray with olive oil. Add a generous amount of salt and pepper and roast at 400 for about 30-35 minutes until crispy, taking out once halfway to shake around.

Deliciousness:

My friends were super impressed.

Dinner:

This is when we were having our temper tantrums and I ended up having a few bites of leftover Rustic Chicken with Garlic Gravy, a leftover Sweet Potato Bacon Patty, and a bowl of applesauce. 

Deliciousness:

Totally random but it got the job done.


And that's what I ate! Check in tomorrow to see how we are faring during a snowday with no hot chocolate, wine, or take-out. Should be depressing interesting. Leave comments to cheer me up!

Operation Not Fit Comfortably Into My 6'3" Boyfriend's Sweatpants: Day Three

Hi!

Woohoo Day 3 is under my belt!  And I have to say, maybe I'm crazy but that belt is feeling a little looser. I did some research and a lot of people experience this quickly because dairy and grains can cause some SERIOUS bloat, you guys. Basically they turn you into Violet Beauregarde - lets not forget there was creamy tomato soup and blueberry pie in that anti-paleo 3-course gum.

Another positive I've noticed is that I really feel my mood has improved. I'm not generally a negative person or anything - besides the obvious crazy mean girl thoughts that go through my head about slow sidewalk walkers or people that stop on the subway stairs to use their phones I CAN'T - but I have been even nicer than normal these past couple days. I feel well rested and healthy and hydrated and it's leading me to be...cheerful.

So basically this is all going swimmingly. Although I did have a little hiccup last night when I was making dinner and desperately craved a glass of wine, but I pushed through it because when you write a blog about your diet and tell absolutely everyone you know about it, cheating just isn't an option. But rest assured that once these 30 days are over it's...

Now let's get to the food!

Breakfast:

3 scrambled eggs

2 slices crispy bacon (I meant to mention yesterday, not all bacon is paleo-friendly. Most of them are made with sugar!

Upsetting, I know. But I found some at WholeFoods that doesn't use any sugar and you could probably find some at a farmer's market. Just make sure to read your labels!)

Deliciousness:

This is a classic for a reason. It was delightful and kept me full way longer than I'm used to - I'm starting to learn that a big breakfast is key to my success. I lose all willpower when I'm starving so the longer I can stop my stomach from chatting with the fat lady who lives in my head, the better. Otherwise I lose ALL CONTROL.

Lunch:

Leftover Prosciutto Wrapped Chicken with leftover Mashed Cauliflower and Brussels Sprouts and Bacon Salad

Deliciousness:

Very! The chicken got even better in the fridge and was a great combo with the mashed cauli and brussels sprouts. Win!

Dinner:

Shrimp & Pineapple Stir Fry served over Lime Coconut Cauliflower Rice.

Recipe: I am so excited because the stir fry is my own! I was influenced by about 4 different recipes that weren't quite right so I took a risk and made something up. It paid off and was one my favorite things I have made so far! Here's how to be a copycat:

Ingredients (serves 4):

1 pound shrimp (raw, peeled and deveined if you can find it)

Stir Fry Vegetable Mix (I bought mine pre-made at WholeFoods, but its generally broccoli, snow peas, peppers, and onions. But you can make your own and add anything you want!)

6 Tbsp Coconut Aminos (Soy sauce without the soy!)

6 cloves of garlic, minced

2 Tbsp tapioca flour

2 cups pineapple in bite-sized pieces

Start by making your sauce and mixing the coconut aminos with the tapioca flour, then adding the minced garlic.

Then cut up your veggies if you need to, and heat a wok or large skillet on high.  Pour in a little olive oil and start cooking the veggies, adding a little coconut aminos, salt and pepper just for flavor on them. When the veggies are about 2/3 done add the pineapple to the veggies, and heat up another skillet to cook the shrimp for about 5 minutes until they are pink and cooked through. Add the shrimp and sauce to the veggie mixture, stir well, and serve over the cauliflower rice!

Deliciousness:

I should probably be embarrassed of how proud I am of that since you all now know how easy it is. But whatever, that sh*t was amazing and you should be impressed.

Well that's it for day 3!  Thanks for reading and come again tomorrow!

Operation Stop Untagging Because Of My Arm Size In Every Facebook Pic: Day Two

Hello lovelies!

Before we get started I wanted to post a couple things in regards to the blog:

1) First and foremost, thank you for all the support!  I wasn't expecting nearly as much traffic as I got, so it was a very welcome and awesome surprise!

2) I didn't realize I had commenting disabled, so I fixed that. Please feel free to comment on the blog now with any questions/compliments/backtalk.

3) I also now have an email alert function for when new entries are up! Enter your email at the top of the page and get notified whenever there is a new post.

Ok technicals over. On to day two!

Gotta say I felt pretty good all day - woke up feeling refreshed and just as judgmental as ever. I walked past a woman sitting on the subway bench eating a donut and instead of being jealous or maybe just not thinking anything at all, my mind actually said to itself, and I quote: "Poor girl is gonna have a sugar crash in 20 minutes."  Then I hopped on my high horse and rode it straight to work. Not really sure who I think I am, but I am enjoying this new found entitlement very much.

I also have already noticed an improvement in my sleep. This could be because I'm not having that late night bar piece of chocolate or bottle glass of wine and spiking my sugar, or maybe just the detox of carbs and additives is making me tired, but either way it's a welcome change. Between my snoring boyfriend and snoring dog and cat that likes to jump on me when I'm least expecting it, I usually have some trouble falling asleep. But last night it felt like I was out within 5 minutes which hasn't happened in months! And to boot I had a dream I was friends with J-Lo so it was pretty much the best sleep ever.

Now let's talk about the food!

Breakfast:

Baked Eggs and Prosciutto Cups.  I had some leftover prosciutto from last night's Prosciutto Wrapped Chicken Thighs, so I thought I would give this a whirl. I didn't have leeks so I kept it really simple by just putting half a slice of prosciutto (I am going to LOSE IT if I have to type that word one more time) in each muffin tin with an egg on top and baked at 375 for 20 minutes.

Deliciousness:

Hard to say. One positive is that it kept me really full until about 1:30pm which is great! Normally I'm foaming at the mouth by noon. But I made 3, not a whole muffin tin, so I think I should have baked it for a little less time since the egg was solid and I hate that. Also, I had run out of salt so I didn't really have any seasoning on it. Basically I failed and I'm not even sure why I'm telling you about this. I will make it again this weekend and let you know how it goes then, but for now lets move on from this disaster, and I apologize for wasting your time.

Lunch

Leftover Chicken Soup! And since the plus from my meh breakfast was that it kept me full for so long, I didn't eat the soup until later so I was fine until dinner. No hangriness here!

Deliciousness:

You know this!

Dinner:

Baked Burger

Recipe: Very simple, I just cut up some red onion and mixed it with ground beef, garlic powder, salt, and pepper. Then formed it into patties and baked on a wire rack over a cookie sheet at 400 degrees for about 5 minutes, flipped and baked another 8-10 minutes. Then I smeared on some guacamole, tomato, and even more red onion to eat between to lettuce leaves. So good!

Creamy Brussels Sprouts and Bacon Salad.  I left out the hazlenuts and used chili powder instead of chipotle, but otherwise followed exactly.

Deliciousness:

Umm, you guys need to make that brussels sprouts salad IMMEDIATELY. It was like...coleslaw and a BLT had an super powered delectable baby. I did have to make my own mayonnaise for it, but don't let that stop you - it was crazy easy and fast! I used this recipe with avocado oil and it took under 2 minutes. Just don't expect it to be exactly like store-bought mayo - you won't want to eat it alone with a spoon (not that anyone does that, do they?!), but as the base for dressings it's perfect! The burger was pretty standard but good enough and I ended up just eating it with a fork and not missing a bun at all.

And that was it for day 2! Thanks for reading, check back in tomorrow!

Operation Actually Take My Cover-Up Off At The Beach: Day One

Well, after months of talking about it, my Whole30 has finally commenced and I made it through the first day!  Fun new fact: eating well makes you feel superior to everyone around you. Coworkers brought in cookies and I found myself looking down upon them for succumbing to sugar, like I didn't have a cadbury egg in bed literally the night before. So basically vegetables = unwarranted condescension.

Overall I felt pretty good - a little run down but I think that has more to do with my #obeseskiweekend than my one day of healthy eating choices, lets be honest. Here's the nitty gritty:

Breakfast:
2 cups black coffee
2 poached eggs on raw baby spinach
Deliciousness:
Pretty good, could be better. Next time I might try wilting the spinach in some garlic and a little ghee, since it was a little too healthy tasting for my liking.

You suck, spinach.

Lunch:
Leftover Paleo Chicken NoNoodle Soup
Deliciousness:
Seriously, so good.

I made it the night before since I was coming down from previously mentioned #obeseskiweekend and wanted something simple with basic ingredients.  I used a rotisserie chicken to save time which I would highly recommend (but beware of bones! They can be sneaky with whole chickens...I haven't encountered any but Chris is convinced I'm trying to murder him and make it look like an accident), and also doubled the garlic and added some thyme and crushed red chili peppers for a little extra kick, but other than that I followed the recipe exactly. There are under 10 ingredients which is awesome, and since I wanted to show how easy it is I took some pics:

That stuff on the far right? Acts like noodles! Turnip for what!
I hate myself.

The finished product - so colorful! So satisfying!

Can't recommend that soup enough. Only thing I would do differently is to maybe bring more of it for lunch or add a side since I was so hungry by 5 I decided to skip the gym in favor of rushing home and making dinner. But don't worry, karma got me on that one and trapped me on the 5 train for a solid hour behind an old man in bowler hat who leaned against me so hard I was spooning him standing up. On the plus side, my aggravation juxtaposed with my need to respect elders caused my hands to break into a pretty severe sweat which must have burned a few cals, right?

Dinner:
A few bites of Easy Crockpot Applesauce (made without the sugar, obvi) before I started cooking because I was HANGRY.

Prosciutto Wrapped Chicken Thighs
Roasted Asparagus 
Recipe: Just put asparagus spears on a baking sheet with a little olive oil, salt and pepper and put them in the oven for about 40 minutes at 375 - the time the chicken is baking also. Take out once after 20 minutes to shake around and put back in the oven for the remaining 20 minutes. They got crispy which was an accident but turned out to be amazing and was my favorite part of dinner!)
Mashed Cauliflower
Recipe: Steam a bunch of cauliflower florets and 4-5 whole peeled pieces of garlic for 20-30 minutes until the cauliflower mashes to the touch. Then use an immersion blender (or a real blender in batches) to puree and add some ghee, salt and pepper.  It tastes just like mashed potatoes!!!

Deliciousness:
Scrumptious!!  Chicken thighs are my new thang...if you're like me and think chicken breasts are kind of gross, dry, and bland then trust me, chicken thighs are your answer. Mix it with rosemary, garlic, and prosciutto and it's what I like to call foolproof. Also, cauliflower. It is truly magical and can be a substitute for anything from mashed potatoes, rice, or cream sauces.  You will see a lot of it in these next 30 days so get used to it and embrace the cauli!

That's all she ate, folks! See you tomorrow!